Paradise

Hello Humans! Wow. It's been a while. Like almost three months. But I'm back. Hopefully I'll at least be posting a couple of times a week. I recently heard a song, called, "Paradise" by Coldplay. Well, I've heard it lots of times, but I never really listened to it. But the words hit me so hard. Ever since I can remember, I have been a big dreamer. I have dreamed of visiting places, meeting people, conquering conflicts, and moving mountains. I have dreamt of shaping a world around me. And I finally realized that I am ready to do just that. I already have been doing that to a small extent. I mean, I followed my dream and moved to the Island to go to University. I am becoming a successful scientist, and I am in love. It's with myself and a giant Pirate Fox stuffed-animal, but hey, it still counts. But I am ready to make this world into my paradise. Wherever I go, no matter who I'm with, or what I'm doing, it will be my Paradise.

There were many nights I remember, coming home from a night out with my "friends." I would normally come home feeling left-out or lonelier than when I had left to meet up with them. They all got along so well, talking of things in their advanced English and Business classes. Meanwhile, there was me. The one who was taking the out-there Science, lower Math class, and very weird quirks. I would go home, lie down in my bed after getting ready, and cry silently into my pillow. My mind would wander to a far-a-way land where I was surrounded by animals who loved me. I lived in the forest next to the beach. I was smart, wise, brave, and loved. There was hardly a time when humans would appear in my "paradise," because they had only caused trouble in my past. My ideal Paradise is the same scenario. Me, all alone, surrounded with animals, sitting on a beach next to a tropical forest. Except this Paradise is now a reality. I no longer have to escape to my mind to get here, as I just walk five minutes to get to the beach.

My time here on the Island has been one of self-love, self-discovery and healing. Very much a healing process. From figuring out how to match my body's slower metabolism rates, to learning more about my sub-conscious fears, to finally letting go of my past.

"When she was just a girl, she expected the world. But it flew away from her reach, so she flew away in her sleep. And dreamed of Paradise. Paradise, every time she closed her eyes. When she was just a girl, she expected the world. But it flew away from her reach. And the bullets catch in her teeth. Life goes on, it gets so heavy. The wheel breaks the butterfly. Every tear a waterfall In the night, the storm night, she'd close her eyes. In the night, the stormy night, away she'd fly and dream of Paradise. Paradise, every time she closed her eyes. And so lying underneath those stormy skies, she'd say, 'I know the sun must set to rise.' This could be Paradise."

I can't wait to see what the next month and a half of Island Time will help me heal. And I can't wait to shape my reality back on the Mainland, when I get back there.

Stay wild, flower child.